36 lines
1.5 KiB
Markdown
36 lines
1.5 KiB
Markdown
---
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title: "Awake Now"
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permalink: /:title/
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description: "Something clicks and you realize you've been asleep for a while, but you're awake now"
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category: personal
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---
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Two years ago on New Year's Eve, I boarded a plane to leave the country I grew up in; carrying hope for a better life for my young son and the woman who decided to follow where ever I go.
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I needed no other reason.
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But it's not easy--having a lot of unknowns with such a high stake took a toll on my mental energy.
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I always pushed myself through the changes, and oh man, have I collected stories I can tell to bore kids when I grow old.
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I've felt like there's always something that I **need** to do, otherwise something **will** go wrong.
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That's not healthy and I realize this now.
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## Regret anything?
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Nope, I don't; the payoff is really awesome.
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I really grew in a lot of ways this past couple of years. In discipline, in focus, in my ability to relate to others, in broadening my understanding... I think reality surpassed my expectations here.
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Also the important thing is... my family is happy, the kid is getting better education, we're safer, have access to stuff.
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Also I'm not really a regret kind of guy.
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## Anything to improve?
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Yeah definitely.
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I need to stop letting thoughts wander far out into the future or reach far back into the past. Be reasonably prepared just enough to be present.
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I need to appreciate a beautiful day. Be thankful. Remember that I can breathe now. Play music. And just notice how the world continues anyway.
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