feat: publish awake post

_posts/2024-02-03-awake-now.md

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+---
+title: "Awake Now"
+permalink: /:title/
+description: "Something clicks and you realize you've been asleep for a while, but you're awake now"
+category: personal
+---
+
+> This is going to be the cheesiest retroactive blog post here. Be warned.
+
+Two years ago on New Year's Eve, I boarded a plane to leave the country I grew up in; carrying hope for a better life for my young son and the woman who decided to follow where ever I go.
+
+I needed no other reason.
+
+But it's not easy--having a lot of unknowns with such a high stake took a toll on my mental energy.
+
+I always pushed myself through the changes, and oh man, have I collected stories I can tell to bore kids when I grow old.
+
+I've felt like there's always something that I **need** to do, otherwise something **will** go wrong.
+
+That's not healthy and I realize this now.
+
+## Regret anything?
+
+Nope, I don't; the payoff is really awesome.
+
+I really grew in a lot of ways this past couple of years. In discipline, in focus, in my ability to relate to others, in broadening my understanding... I think reality surpassed my expectations here.
+
+Also the important thing is... my family is happy, the kid is getting better education, we're safer, have access to stuff.
+
+Also I'm not really a regret kind of guy.
+
+## Anything to improve?
+
+Yeah definitely.
+
+I need to stop letting thoughts wander far out into the future or reach far back into the past. Be reasonably prepared just enough to be present.
+
+I need to appreciate a beautiful day. Be thankful. Remember that I can breathe now. Play music. And just notice how the world continues anyway.