---
title: "Awake Now"
permalink: /:title/
description: "Something clicks and you realize you've been asleep for a while, but you're awake now"
category: personal
---

Two years ago on New Year's Eve, I boarded a plane to leave the country I grew up in; carrying hope for a better life for my young son and the woman who decided to follow where ever I go.

I needed no other reason.

But it's not easy--having a lot of unknowns with such a high stake took a toll on my mental energy.

I always pushed myself through the changes, and oh man, have I collected stories I can tell to bore kids when I grow old.

I've felt like there's always something that I **need** to do, otherwise something **will** go wrong.

That's not healthy and I realize this now.

## Regret anything?

Nope, I don't; the payoff is really awesome.

I really grew in a lot of ways this past couple of years. In discipline, in focus, in my ability to relate to others, in broadening my understanding... I think reality surpassed my expectations here.

Also the important thing is... my family is happy, the kid is getting better education, we're safer, have access to stuff.

Also I'm not really a regret kind of guy.

## Anything to improve?

Yeah definitely.

I need to stop letting thoughts wander far out into the future or reach far back into the past. Be reasonably prepared just enough to be present.

I need to appreciate a beautiful day. Be thankful. Remember that I can breathe now. Play music. And just notice how the world continues anyway.
